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Man fires AK-47 at store that was out of crayfish. He gained no crayfish. June 2, 2011

Posted by Robot Shakespeare Co in Awesome.
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The L&T Fish Market in Pensacola, FL ran out of crawfish. That’s what they told Larry Wayne Kelly when he called, prompting him launch into a screaming rage. He called back 11 times in an hour, but they were closing down and didn’t answer the phone. Well, Larry Wayne Kelly (three first names, like all good psychos) doesn’t take that kind of treatment too well. He hopped in his pickup (of course) and drove past the Wal-Mart down the road (of course) to park in front of the fish stand. There he hung out the window with an AK-47 and opened fire on the front of the building.
No one was in the building, so no one was hurt when the bullets tore through the walls, windows, and doors.
The police chased the guy for a while, and he tried to sideswipe them once or twice. When they finally stopped him he was armed with the AK, a Tec-9, a .38, and a nine millimeter, all loaded. The man claimed to be a Soveriegn Citizen, and that this meant he did not have to obey the laws. The officers pointed out that this was a made-up term, and that he did in fact have to obey the law. To back their point up, they arrested the bejeezus out of him.
Tommy Nguyen, the owner of the shop, summed it all up pretty well. “If you don’t have crawfish, you can get crab or something else. Why is crawfish so important?”

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